quiting.

I don't see a point to continue blogging.
Want to know my other excuses come find me.

Durianssssss :D

I know I know. A lot of people dislike durians but I love'em :D
My dad bought these Huge durians like half a meter in diameter...That's BIG..


And the fruits are like so huge D: I ate a piece. Then went for seconds but I was having trouble trying to finish the second piece. Just too damn full at that moment =/
but it was and is delicious :D Worth stuffing your mouth with..

usually the meat of a common durian is white,slightly moist and soft. The one I'm talking about is Yellow,fleshy, and not so moist nor soft..

Just talking about it makes me feel like I should have some now :x thanks for reading.
Stay tuned.

I'mma gona get me some durians now!

Relief..

My grandmother got better than the past days ago. :) And we're all relieved.


Damn, I can't believe my previous blog had a terrible ending. I am so sorry to my friends. I just didn't think deeper of the consequences I'd have to face if I wrote that much about us. I can feel the difference in our friendships. I think its a good difference, but then I somehow still feel some regrets.

Schools about to end soon for us 11th graders, I am so so so so glad for this ! :D
I'm facing another change now. To adapt with the new situation. Where I wouldn't talk so much.

I seriously want and need a break. I know soon I'll have no more school, but this short break is what I need to relieve my exhaustion,stress and get back on my feet.
All I need is some time to just be alone in a quiet and beautiful place,thinking of nothing but you. And all the good things that would happen if we were together. All the logical things that is.

We await your recovery.

16 October 2009, Friday. My dad wakes me up and tells me my mom called. He walks out of the room. I check the time, around 1A.M. As I walk out to the living room. He tells me something like this "your mom says your grandmother is very sick. Go call your uncle ... "

So I asked what happened and my uncle tells me she is very sick. My dad decides that we should go see her. The new SMC ( priv hospital) building was around Damai and thank god we lived nearby. Knowing that hospitals tend to be cold. It was a good thing i had my jacket and wore 2 pairs of tshirt but I was still shivering when i got in the car. Outside was windy and silent. I kept praying and hoping she would still be alright when I arrive there.

After arriving at the hospital, it took us quite a while to get to the right place. Ward 2. My aunt,two of my uncles and a cousin of mine were there.Just waiting and keeping an eye on my grandmother. She has been wanting to meet my father for a long time. I learned that she was in the hospital since Thursday afternoon. Her legs are numb. In other words, paralysed.I saw the monitor that displayed the HR,heart rate, at the beginning of the readings show 48 and it kept dropping for the past few hours..At that moment it was about 38 - 42. She wasn't about to give up just yet. We woke her up just to let her know of my father and my presence. She seemed glad and then went back to rest. I told her to hold on atleast untill all of us are here for her. My uncle said that she may have to go for surgery to amputate her legs or else it will start to rot. There are risks, if she wakes up after the surgery. Will she accept all this?

It was after that my uncle told me that my mother and little brother was in the airport, she's coming back along with my other relatives who are not around. Now, As I write this story, she has arrived and I still have not met her nor my little brother. But soon we will.

At 3 or 4 A.M. My relatives suggest that we head back to rest as we can't do much waiting in the hospital. We head back home. I texted Tay to let him know I'm not going to school in the morning. If anything were to happen, it would take quite a while to get me out of school. I feared I may not have that kind of time. So I stayed home and did some chores,well, all the chores had to be done by me.

Afternoon comes and no news from anyone except my mother, she arrived at 11 a.m. I was hoping that my friends in school would wonder why I did not go to school and contact me or ask Tay why. And I hoped that when they know what happened they would give me comfort.

All I received, was wong asking if I could go to the edu fair tomorrow. When I told him that maybe I can go, he did ask why I said maybe but that was all. I went online and Tay asked how was my grandmother. She's alright for now.

Thats all I received. Now I begin to wonder, what happened to all the other close friends I have? They seem to have forgotten or couldn't care less about me.
I recall one of us making a promise that there are 5 of us. And forever shall we be good friends. Now it feels like bullshit to me. In these moments are the most painful knowing that again I have not found true friends.

If you are reading this, you should know who I am referring to. You would also know that how hurt I feel. And among the 4 of you,for the past few weeks and I began to have strong feelings for one of you. So strong I am trying to keep my options only to 1. But I had the wrong idea of you, your not the person I thought you would be. So it fades. Even if I try to keep it.Whats the point? When your always blinded by another person. If you don't contact me until tomorrow, I swear to myself you will see and hear less of me.

This is the point where I need to move on.
To learn to survive without true friends and just live with normal friends.
Friends without any special link.

5:26 pm. Guten Nacht.

Bloody he !!

I don't know what he's doing or what he's thinking. All I know is, he ain't letting himself move on. So damn stubborn man!

Of all the females in this millennium, You can't think of finding a smarter, gentler, kinder, less-problematic-er , prettier and more worthy girl?!

"WHY! TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY! YOUR SO HARD TO FORGET?"

She is not bad all the way but she will never be that girl you expect nor deserve. You my friend deserve better! And yet, your blinded by love. This love you have is faulty. sick and wrong. Look for a doctor, even he or she doesn't know where to begin.

What else can I say? All this is just waste if you don't accept the facts.


This is Ferik, telling you my friend if your reading this and we all know who 'you' is. Please with all your soul, go for a person who is the real deal.

12th October.Yesterday was my dad's birthday :)

Monday... my dad's birthday! :) woohoo!

A week ago I suggested to my grandma and relatives for a surprise to be organized. I would say it's a success although only few can make it that night.

Birthday man in the middle.
Btw, he looks 10 years younger than his actual age :) true statement.
guess what cake we had? and how big was it?

*hint hint... it smells 'goooood' :D and the size, let's just say it's twice and a half larger than ordinary cakes.

and credits for this cake goes all to yi po :) best baker in the family.



picture of the cake seems corrupted D: sorry i can't upload it.

This is Ferik, I'll be back! with more stories :)

Brand new!

WATCHES!




It's not much.But,it's still really shiny. x)

And I chose this over an Mp4 watch.
I'm not sure why,but somehow it felt like the better choice.
And,it has a Tachymeter. I have no idea what it is or how do I use it.

But it sounds pretty awesome to me x)


Anyway,
my little bro is going back to KL today and I guess we're going to have a day full of things to get for him. In addition,it's Independence day! Hooray! :D
31 August 1957.

School's reopening tomorrow and I am so freaking happy to finally meet them again xD
but,freaking depressed for the never ending exams D:

School won't last longer for me,and the rest of 11th graders. Teehee!
And I can already imagine how easier my life would be knowing that a driver's license will soon be in my wallet x)
Until then,I have to get my step dad send me here and there.